Friday, December 31, 2010
I can feel the hopeful adventure running thru my veins ♥
2010. what a rollercoaster of a year.
my goals were alot like everyone elses -
1 - be more fit (duh, im a chicky) /check
2 - go backpacking in another country /check
3 - attend "good" acting classes /fail
4 - land a role in a feature film /fail
5 - raise over $10k for poverty in Africa /fail, raised about $4k
6 - know God /?
7 - go to 50 auditions /epic fail
8 - ride an elephant /fail, attempted while in Africa but he charged at me.
9 - be happy. daily reality checks. /check
OK, so maybe not a ton like everyone elses, but hey #1 is on everyones list each year right?
i failed at a lot of those, but heres what i DID accomplish:
I began the year with children I love in Uganda ♥ I stumbled around that country last new years eve on a walking stick because my foot had just been run over. (there are hardly roads there) and i spent the whole first month of the year living out my dream in those villages. so much happened here, but i want to save that for my next blog thats always pumping in my heart.
i started shooting in february. finally gave it a chance, said i'd give it a year. i shot with some amazing photographers, some of my favorites. i shot with playboy, fight!, italian maxim, hombre, citypages, and blisss. i interviewed with others and was able to share info about needs in the world that i want exposed. it's almost been a year since ive started, and so far so good. cant please everybody anyhow.
i saw tegan and sara, brand new, thrice, and regina spektor live.
i totaled my honda civic, and finally bought my dream car - 74 vw thing, yellow, with the word Blondie in cursive on the side :) even though its no where to be found, the 6 months i had it were bliss. i love you bumblebee.
i had my heart broken. i broke a heart. such is life.
won my first bikini contest.
drove a red ferrari as fast as i could thru red rocks in vegas in a shiny black bikini. felt like james bond. so it goes on the list ok? and saw beatles love that night :)
i shot a commercial for the trump taj mahal hotel in atlantic city, and one for the hilton in vegas.
i had my apartment broken into by a stalker (while i was home) and had to move from one clubhouse to another. very.scary.
i backpacked europe for the second time.
i saw niagara falls and painted alley walls.
i couch surfed in san diego, la, san francisco, new york, uganda, toronto, miami, vegas, and barcelona.
i spent an amazing weekend on the cliffs of sonoma county, on the most dangerous beach in america, where i watched whales surface for air and bay seals play while i ate a grilled cheese ;)
i was fired from the best job i've ever had, due to shooting glamour/artistic nudes.
i talked to my birth dad for the first time in 13 years. via facebook.
i lost a best friend. became closer with the rest of them.
met a boy that makes me feel forever young and mysteriously safe. too scared to write more, i want this man. but we shouldnt ever get attached to any idea like this...
oh, and i got addicted to dexter.
all in all, 2010 seemed so plain. but now im looking back and am very pleased. im smiling. i lost and gained. i played laughed and cried hard.
but out with the old and in with the new yes?
2011 is going to be so much better.
my goals arent much too different. to be honest i'd probably copy and paste the list from above.
i will ride that elephant, dammit. and i will raise $10k. I am now the ambassador for http://www.communitycrash.org/ and i am going to run with it. faster than ever. MY choices can change the WORLD. and so can yours. remember that this year.
im starting the 1st week of the year in cancun and playa del carmen. shooting with strip las vegas the week after, and spending all of feb at yoga school in brasil. ill start teaching that love of mine, God willing, in march. and as for the rest of the year, i have no effing clue. but i like that. i LOVE that. i have no idea where my life is taking me, and i dont care. because i do know who i am becoming, and thats what matters to me. no matter what goes on around me in this next year, this is who im supposed to be, and where im supposed to be. and ill smile, because life is too short not to.
im going to kiss someone at midnight tonight, and im going to swing on a swing set tomorrow. and im going to stay as impulsive as i was this year. with my dancing shoes on ;)
DO NOT settle for a life that is less than what you are capable of living. if you dont love what you do, do something else. live life making a ton of mistakes. or else you'll wish you made more. i have so many favorite mistakes. exist to help others. breathe 5 deep breathes from your belly, and speak a mantra. every morning. be crazy!!!! do not live a life that is less than extraordinary because you are scared. so what if you get hurt. jump. fall. and do it nekkid if you want to. whatever makes you happy sunshine. :)
happy new year.
peace out 2010. you were bad ass, sorry if i seemed to not be paying attention to that.
hello 2011...you're mine ♥