|If the sky would fall, would you stand by me|
In the worst of it all, would you answer me ♥
I have "HOME" playing on repeat because its the best song ever written and no one should ever settle for a love less than what it describes ;) at midnight this year im simply kissing dreams, and it'll be just as stellar as if i were kissing a dream boy :) hey, ive got some big handsome muscular dreams haha. and they tend to open doors for me too ;)
The past 4 years my goals are about like this:
1 - be more fit /check
2 - go backpacking in another country / double check
3 - attend "good" acting classes /semi-check
4 - land a role in a feature film /semi-check
5 - raise over $10k for those in poverty /semi-check, raised about $7k
6 - know God /can that ever really be checked?
7 - go to 50 auditions /check! :)
8 - ride an elephant /check, although this following year it MUST be in S.E. Asia!
9 - be happy. daily reality checks. /quadruple check!!
my last new years eve blog had the same list, if you read that by chance, haha. the only thing i would add is a #10 - find an awesome agent/representation for acting :)
I think I did more this year than any other year. But my feeling about this next year is overwhelmingly hopeful. It's pounding in my heart and pulsing in my veins. can.not.wait.
a never be the same kind of year. ♥
|I want to climb you like a mountain, not |
to conquer you.. but to share in the view ♥
Im in Telluride,CO. A place I may have lived in another life, it seems so much like "home" to me. but home is where ever there is....... you??
|The only way to be happy, is to love.|
Otherwise your life passes you by
There isn't a mc donalds in sight or a phone in a single hand (except mine, haha). there are prayer flags everywhere, yoga mats in hands, and most importantly... smiles in eyes and lights on faces. the gorgeous people are happy here, the sense of community is oustanding... and i'll be back ♥
I'm here with my great friend Tom, we've done some amazing hikes/skiing/you name it. Our conversations are always so intense and mind-bamboozling, its as if i read a book a day, haha! Im very undeserving of the blessing of being here. It's the perfect way to start out my BEST YEAR YET. ♥ I'm even excited for the year after that already. ♥
Jeez, this December went out with a bang.
I started it "home" in LA, then went to Rwanda to feed some villages, then Chicago to shoot with PB and speak to young adults, then to Austin to celebrate my birthday and reunite with some amazing people I didn't even think I would see ever again (one being the first boy i ever made out with, haha) then here to Colorado to be surrounded by beauty.
and in 2011 all together -
i studied yoga/meditation/thai massage/acrobatics in an ashram in Brazil then ended the trip at Carnaval (so yogi of me, tisk tisk ;) )
I landed a DREAM job in MMA with bellator, such a fan ♥
stayed at the Playboy mansion in the summer, playing with monkeys, having brunch with Hef and falling in love with the kitchen staff
Was published in Playboy, italian maxim, espn mag and fight
moved to Hollywood Hills
was on tmz a few times with my favorite Mercedes (the girl, not the car)
interviewed on fox sports which aired 10 times :)
attended the espys and the MMA awards - 2 favorite memories
was in ernie halters first music video
played charades with Neil Armstrong (im pretty good at singing myself to the moon ;) )
met over 20 of my favorite actors
and I learned what it was like to fly like tink while simply laying in a bed of conversation ♥
and 2012 is going to go by even faster. the most important thing, is that on new years eve next year - i still have the mentality of looking back at anything in the year, no matter how it turned out, and saying "wow... im blessed! ♥" because that is ALL that matters, keeping that mentality. who the heck knows whats in store, who the heck knows if ill be alive... but im going to make the most of it in the meantime as i throw all worries in the air and run around smiling from ear to ear. (run with me)
i often have bad dreams (while sleeping..my dreams while im awake rock) and i almost rather not even dream at all. in fact, if i can remember, i pray that i dont dream. i dont like waking up with a hurt heart. but im working on understanding this instead. being in Telluride is like a really weird dream. its serendipitous. if Tom hadn't arrived here years ago, we would have never even become friends. and here we are. if i hadnt met a man in ocean beach san diego 2 years ago, i wouldnt have moved to LA, started modeling, even landed my job with bellator, have the friends i have, or even be driving the car im driving. that man i met once in a beach town that lives in a van... literally changed my life forever, and especially changed every detail of this year. and he doesnt even know it. isnt that crazy? one little occurence. and we have them daily with out even knowing it. sometimes we influence people for the positive/negative and it changes everything for them from that point forward. remember tho, it can be positive or negative. so be a light ;)
we stopped at a coffee shop on the way here (Tom is constantly putting caffeine in my hands, even tho he hates the addiction...he still is understanding with me. haha) we met a girl there that had a smile that matched the light she saw in our eyes and as always, me and Tom got into an amazing conversation with her. this happened with Martin Sheen and Shirley Maclaine at a Christmas party we went to. its magic, these conversations that radiate love and compassion. im always taking notes, haha. that girl from the coffee shop later emailed us this :