Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast....♥

My last shoot in L.A. was with one of my favorite photographers. Last time i shot with him it was for a test for 2 magazines, one i made it in (above - BLISSS surfer magazine, mostly in california surf shops) and the other, i didnt. :( last time we shot he told me my boobs were too small and asked why the hell my teeth were yellow. coffee. and way too much of it. but we shot again, my boobs a whole cup size bigger due to birth control, and my teeth whiter. doesnt mean ill get the spread i want, but he said ill at least be on newstands. argh. i want the spread i shot for. its a good $20k pay difference and the exposure doesnt even compare.
we.shall.see.
i had some good talks with each photographer. i usually do. they usually tell me im amusing, or the weirdest girl theyve ever shot. i dont mind that, at least im not boring. i guess i am weird. hell, if youve read any of my blogs you know that too.
the 1st shoot i did, all polaroidzzzz which is one of my obsessions, was with JN. we talked alot about relationships. we shared stories, some that ive never really shared, he laughed. he shared some and i challenged him as much as he challenged me. but we had the same views. one particular one is that relationships are never freaking 50/50. you get me right? like, theyre always 80/20. and thats a-ok as long as it switches, rotates back and forth. but if it doesnt, then the 80% side needs to get the heck out. its hardly ever a 2-way street, but its never 50/50. there are a few times i think ive seen it, but not sure. but, even when i do see a couple in their 70th year of marriage...sadly, i dont think "awwww schucks, i want to grow old with somebody!!" i honestly simply wonder, who is going to be in my life at that stage of it? i had one guy tell me the other day that he would like to meet me when im an old lady, because he wants to hear all my stories. that was one of the cutest things ive ever heard. and damn straight, i will live a full life, because life is simply too short not to.
me and JN hit it off from the start. and some times i just cant stand photographers because there are (just a few) times when i am standing in front of their camera and thinking....did this guy just hire me so he could tell a younger pretty girl what to do for a few hours? its just the feeling i get when they talk to me. like they never made it to being a published photographer, so they hire a published model for a good price and then boss her around like he's a big shot....not just a guy with a camera. there are way too many guys with cameras. hey, it pays my bills tho. others i become good friends with and we keep in touch, those are usually the professional ones, because they tend to treat models differently. there are 2 photographers in vegas that both got me published more than once, and its all due to how good they are, not me. but i talk to both of those guys on a weekly basis. maybe just a joke, or an update, but we touch base. i'd say i have good chemistry with about half of the photographers when i travel tho. i can get along with anybody either way. thats what going to 18 different schools will do to you :) and i loved it, like i said before, im addicted to meeting people.
i'd have to say tho, the most published photographer ive ever had on my schedule, here in hollywood, really pissed me off. i had never been so excited to shoot with someone before. seriously, this guy shoots only celebrities, and covers for magazines. if you shoot with him, it is not only a portfolio booster, but you'll end up published on some type of ad, and you'll get more calls for work. but do you know what that loser did when i arrived at his studio (the same studio one of my favorite musicians used to own and record in)....he demanded a freaking blow job. "this is how its going to go down" he repeats to models that would die to shoot with him because they havent made it yet completely in the industry and they know shooting with him will be great for their portfolio. they show up after not eating all day so that they can have a flat tummy and an un-bloaded face, all jittery hoping that he'll shoot them after he sees them in person (most professional photographers who will publish you want to make sure you look good in person first and arent 20 pounds heavier than your images) so they show up and he says, "this is how its going to go down, im going to go down on you, youre going to go down on me, and then we'll shoot and ill make sure your image gets published." that fucker. i bawled my eyes out and told him as badly as i wanted to shoot with him, i didnt want to shoot with him that bad. and that i think hes a scumbag for cheating on his wife all the time just because of who he is etc etc...he told me to wake up and open my eyes to what it takes to break into this industry...that i was an effing idiot that needed to go back to austin tx. i talked to another model, who did mess around with him, as well as one who didnt. the one who didnt said that he has about a 85% success rate with that crap. that models usually just say "oh, ok...." but she put him in his place a lot better than i did with her fiery mouth that i love. she wasnt so crushed, being published in spanish vogue and print ads internationally, it wasnt that big of a deal to miss out on a shoot with him....years from now ill never wish that i did it tho. we always hear of those big name actors and actresses that did that stuff for their first role. but even if i never make it, ill never do that. and it doesnt mean that im better than any of them.
the guy who i test shot with this last, i love. he is going down in history. not for his print work, but for his hobby work. he is amazazazing. he made me take like 30 photos out of my port because he said they were crap, and i needed it. he knows. he also told me something that i wish someone told me in the beginning, but i suppose should have been common sense. "8 out of 10 things in this industry are total b.s., its just some director trying to get in your panties, or at least impress you, youve been around the block and shot enough, you know this...but just watch out. and im going to get you out there as much as i can, you know that, and ill never ask you to sleep with me, but you have to take my advice and stop making bad decisions jade. youre already old, your clock is ticking, get with it, youre gorgeous and you can really do something, but stop being lazy with what you have. hey jade, do you hear me?"  haha, he always finishes everything with that question. even when hes telling me how to pose. im shooting with him again next month, but this time for his hobby part of the photography, and that is an honor. i just wish an elephant could be involved. i will get that shot.
i got asked to speak at cal state university while i was here, about invisible children and my experiences in uganda, and it freakin breaks my heart that i had an important scheduling conflict. that is what my heart beats for, but i couldnt flake on what i had already committed to. what an awesome opportunity it would have been though...

oh and by the way, last night at the red carpet movie premiere, i forgot to put on deodorant. and im not a smelly girl, but still, what a bummer....


yaaaayyy :)  ------------>